We’re taught to armor up.
To hold it together. To be unshakeable. To make sure the budget is balanced, the programs are running, the people are served—and that we smile while doing it.
But here’s the truth most leadership books won’t admit: the real power doesn’t come from never breaking. It comes from knowing when to soften.
In nonprofit leadership, where the stakes are personal and the pressure is relentless, vulnerability is often the missing ingredient in transformation. Not the Instagrammable kind. Not the neat-and-tidy “just being transparent” brand of vulnerability. I’m talking about the kind that makes your voice shake in the boardroom. The kind that says, “I don’t have all the answers, but I’m still here.”
Why Vulnerability Works
When we’re vulnerable, we invite others to meet us as humans, not titles. And that matters; because organizations don’t shift from the top down or bottom up. They shift from the inside out.
A leader who can say, “This is hard,” gives their team permission to be honest, too. A leader who can admit when they’re afraid creates space for courage to rise around them. Vulnerability isn’t a break in leadership—it’s the bridge to trust, feedback, and innovation.
It also makes us better listeners. More attuned to nuance. More willing to question our own assumptions. That’s the foundation of equity. That’s how we evolve; not just as organizations, but as movements.
The Myth of Perfection Is Killing Our Capacity
Trying to be infallible disconnects us from the very people we’re trying to serve. Communities aren’t asking us to be perfect. They’re asking us to be present.
When we show up with our whole selves (messy, tender, and awake) we build relationships that last longer than any grant cycle. We begin to mirror back the resilience, not just the need, in the communities we serve.
So What Does It Look Like in Practice?
- It looks like saying, “I don’t know,” and following it up with curiosity.
- It looks like naming the tension in the room instead of pretending it’s not there.
- It looks like inviting your team to co-create instead of dictating the way forward.
- It looks like designing spaces where people don’t have to check their grief, their rage, or their uncertainty at the door.
Leadership That Feels More Human
If we want our teams to grow, our impact to deepen, and our missions to outlast us, we have to stop pretending that strength and softness are opposites. They’re partners. One makes room for the other.
At IncuBrighter, we believe that boldness doesn’t mean bulldozing. It means showing up: fully, honestly, and sometimes scared. That’s how movements are built. Not from ivory towers, but from cracked-open hearts.
Let’s lead like that.